BREAKING NEWS: Girl gains weight, blames it on entire country

I haven’t updated my famous “Most Boring Blog in the World” in a while, and that’s because I’ve been busy stuffing my face. Ah, remember where I left off, in Meteora, where I ate dolmades and and a stuffed eggplant thing and, of course, a Greek salad? I do, it was grand. The restaurant also had a grand view and a bunch of stray cats begging for food. And one not stray dog.

We need to talk about Greek food. A lot of it, especially the vegetarian options, is healthy in theory, except that it’s probably swimming in olive oil. Now, I fully embrace the latest health craze assuring us that good fats are good for you, but surely you can’t eat that amount of olive oil without some consequences. Take the classic Greek salad for example: cucumbers, tomatoes, red onions, maybe a few olives, some oregano, and a chunk of feta. That doesn’t sound too bad, as long as the feta isn’t out of control. But did I mention the cup of olive oil drizzled over it? Hmm.

The Great Seattle Ice Cream Quest Round 4: Bluebird

Ever since I first walked by Bluebird, the adorable sign outside compelled me to sample their wares. It wasn't until recently that I actually went in. The first time, I got a scoop of peanut butter ice cream with hot fudge. The hot fudge was scooped out of a small fondue pot thing with a plastic spoon, and the spoon was then given to me. This is a wonderful thing to me; it signifies a special understanding between ice cream scooper and ice cream eater. They get it. They know extra hot fudge is more important to me than a slightly more visually appealing product. Who needs a pristine spoon? Not me. I need hot fudge and little else.

As a peanut butter fanatic, though, I didn't think the ice cream was peanut buttery enough. Don't you dare try to blame this on copious amounts of hot fudge--I won't stand for it! Another flavor on the menu, though, had caught my attention: snickerdoodle. Along with peanut butter dipped in chocolate, snickerdoodle is one of my favorite varieties of cookie--the doughier the better, which makes snickerdoodle ice cream a grand idea. So the next time I went, I tried it. Amazingly, it was everything I could ask for: thick and creamy with a buttery flavor and just the right amount of cinnamon. If cookie dough were ice cream, this would be it. I was on my way to meet a friend, and when I got there I naturally launched into a discussion of ice cream. It turns out he also was on a mission to go to all ice cream shops in Seattle (it's kind of the best mission) and Bluebird's snickerdoodle is one of his favorites. So, there are at least two people who love it.

The Great Seattle Ice Cream Quest Round 3: Cupcake Royale

Cupcake Royale, one of Seattle's most popular cupcake shops, does ice cream as well. There aren't any basic flavors here--the goal seems to be to combine as many types of dessert as possible into a single, efficient package. Nothing reflects this concept better than the cupcake ice cream sundae.

It's about as outrageous as it sounds: a cupcake is placed in a cup, ice cream is scooped on top, and it's finished up with whipped cream and a topping. It's sugar overload. I got July's cupcake of the month, the Blueberry Brown Betty, with honey snickerdoodle ice cream and caramel sauce for the topping.

My boyfriend helped me with it, and with great determination, we managed to finish it. I probably wouldn't get it again--and yet, I would happily get a cupcake with ice cream on the side. I guess something about ice cream on top of frosting was just a little too much. And, you know...the extra sugar drizzle and fluffy fat piles on top.

Up next: Bluebird

The Great Seattle Ice Cream Quest Round 2: Full Tilt

I've been doing a lot of overtime at work lately. It's terrible, it's mayhem. Really, it's just exhausting. It's also a great excuse to go to Full Tilt after work and get an enormous ice cream cone.

I'd never been to a Full Tilt location before, and the one I went to (University District) is apparently a mini-version, because the "full" shops are also arcades. Whatever, I don't care about arcades. I like a bit of nostalgia as much as the next person, but if I hear one more person say "barcade" with a straight face, I will poop my pants with annoyance (slight exaggeration).

The Great Seattle Ice Cream Quest Round 1: Molly Moon's

In Seattle, we take our summers very seriously. We like the outdoors, but the weather isn't always great. So, in that brief window of time called summer, people are desperate to lay in the grass, go swimming, hike Mount Si, and most importantly, eat ice cream.

There are quite a few ice cream shops around for a place that's famous for raining most of the year, and it's my personal mission to visit them all (all the ones I deem worthy, anyway).

Molly Moon's is one of the most popular ice cream establishments in the city, with frequent lines out the door on sunny days. Okay, partly sunny days, too. Or maybe just non-rainy days. Any excuse for an ice cream! I first visited the Wallingford branch years ago while attending the UW and, after a long wait for an unmemorable sorbet, didn't bother going back. Until recently. I now live mere blocks from the Capitol Hill location, and in the haze of frozen dessert insanity that descends upon Seattle on those non-rainy days (okay, maybe just not-the-dead-of-winter days) and my own failing battle with uncontrollable sugarlust, I decided to give it another go.

And so my quest for the greatest of frozen treats has its first contender: earl grey ice cream. With vanilla bean caramel sauce. And walnuts. And whipped cream. Maraschino cherry optional.